Hey there friends!
It has been a minute since we have written a blog post so, what better way than to just dive right in to a popular and very complex topic! Self-regulation. Last week on our social media platforms we started a mini series on self-regulation. What is it? What does it look like? How can we promote and provide tools for self-regulation to our littles? All the things.
So lets recap what we have learned and expand on it a little more in depth to really understand. We know that self-regulation is described as person’s ability to maintain & adapt their arousal level to be appropriate within a certain context or situation. Whoa nelly, that was a bunch of words... lets break it down. In a nutshell, self-regulation is being able to “behave” in a productive way that matches (is expected and appropriate) a given situation. -Read that again. It is our ability to behave in a way that is socially accepted and appropriate within the context or constructs of a given situation.
Here are some examples:
One would expect a person to sit quietly and pay attention to our teachers in class, right?
Almost all of us expect our kids to be loud, silly and excited at a birthday party or playground, correct?
Just like it would be expected for us to yell, scream and be terrified during an emergency situation (fire, car accident, etc).
We all experience different states of arousal throughout our day. Being able to socially, emotionally, and physically change those states of arousal is how we become regulated beings. It is important to remember that self-regulation skills are at the top of the pyramid (more on this later!)... meaning, in order to be regulated beings we need to have a solid foundation of skills to build upon. This includes: all physiological needs met (hunger, thirst, shelter, warmth, etc), adequate sensory integration, age appropriate motor skills, secure attachment with trusting adults, social skills and feelings of safety within our environments. We created this Venn diagram to give you a visual of how the many components contributing to the development of self-regulation.
Phew.. that was a lot, but wait, THERE IS MORE! Grab some coffee, a treat or even a glass of wine we are in this for the long haul!
So what does self-regulation or 'dysregulation' for that matter look like? Number one thing to remember is that dysregulation is NOT just meltdowns, tantrums or big, intense behaviors from our kids. There is way more to it than that. Have you ever heard of the "fight or flight" response? This is an automatic nervous system response that prepares and protects us from potential danger or threats. It's our survival mechanism. There is actually four total 'responses' we can experience when responding to stress or danger.
Fight (react, protect yourself)
Flight (get away/run/flee)
Fright (fear/startle)
Freeze (stay put/hide
Here are some examples adults experience these reactions:
Slamming on the brakes of your car to avoid a collision (fight).
Jumping out of the way of an oncoming car (flight).
Being hyper aware of your surroundings walking in a dark parking lot alone (fright).
Stopping dead in your tracks when you meet a growling dog on the sidewalk (freeze).
Here are some examples of how our children can show signs of dysregulation:
A child being super fidgety, wiggly and squirmy in a classroom who struggles to learn (fight).
This can be the child who struggles to control their excitement and body while playing with friends-invades personal space, too rough or 'intense' (flight).
It can also look like a shy, quiet kid who likes to play alone on the playground at recess (fright).
A child who hides under a table/desk during classroom parties (freeze).
*disclaimer: these are just broad examples to give you a better idea of how to interpret your child's 'behavior' or reaction in situations*
Remember how we talked about over and under responsive sensory processing a while ago? It is the same type of concept when talking about self-regulation in general. There is dysregulation when we have difficulty matching our arousal level/responses to the environment/situation we are in. If we are able to observe and understand what dysregulation looks like we can better determine what the root 'cause' is to the behaviors we see - the why?
Why is this important? Who cares? It is important to understand self-regulation (and be able to recognize dysregulation) in order to give our children the tools they need to work through challenging or stressful situations. It also gives you perspective and a new lens to look through when noticing behaviors. So next time your child is "bouncing off the walls", "kicking, screaming, and crying on the floor", or "not paying attention/following directions"- for no reason, dig deeper. Is the activity or game they are participating in too challenging from a motor standpoint? Is it because they are hungry, over-tired? Are they needing more or less sensory stimulation/input to manage or change their arousal level? Do they feel safe? - this one is tricky, just because a child is in a physically safe environment, does not mean they perceive it that way.
For the sake of not repeating ourselves over and over again, we will post the 'strategies' and tools to help you and your child regulate varying states of arousal more appropriately in different situations on our social media accounts!
So, follow along on our social media platforms (Facebook - Sisters & Sensory; and Instagram - @sisters_and_sensory) to get more tools and ideas for self-regulation, sensory activities, motor development activities and more! Please feel free to like, comment, and share posts you found helpful. This helps spread the word to more parents, family members, teachers, therapist's, anyone working with kids for more knowledge about your littles! Information and knowledge are power, and give us the opportunity to help the kids in our lives grow, learn and live up to their greatest potential!
Cheers to the weekend and happy playing,
Cassie & Amy
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